{"id":1529,"date":"2021-04-14T06:09:02","date_gmt":"2021-04-14T06:09:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/uberlin.co.uk\/march-2011-uberlin\/"},"modified":"2021-04-15T07:31:39","modified_gmt":"2021-04-15T07:31:39","slug":"march-2011-uberlin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/uberlin.co.uk\/march-2011-uberlin\/","title":{"rendered":"March 2011 – \u00fcberlin"},"content":{"rendered":"
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March 30, 2011<\/abbr><\/h5>\n
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The Dummkopf\u2019s Guide to Subletting<\/a><\/h3>\n

by James Glazebrook<\/span><\/h4>\n
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When you arrive in Berlin, chances are you\u2019ll end up in a flatshare or a sublet. While we\u2019ve no experience of the former, having too many things (and cats) to squeeze into a single room, we can impart some wisdom about the latter. On paper subletting is straightforward \u2013 you pays your money (bills included) and move into an apartment which is set up with everything you\u2019ll need for your first few months in Berlin. In reality, it\u2019s anything but simple.<\/p>\n

Here are some tips to help you circumnavigate the surprisingly tricksy waters of subletting:<\/p>\n

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\"Plant\"<\/a><\/p>\n

www.passiveaggressivenotes.com<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

DON\u2019T TOUCH ANYTHING!<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>Berliners may be liberal compared to other Germans, but the fact that you are looking after their home <\/em>means they expect you to take extra-special care of it. They might act all cool and \u201cwhatever\u201d and \u201cmi casa su casa\u201d but they expect to find it exactly how they left it (if not cleaner). When the tenants of our first sublet returned, they grilled us on the whereabouts of a mouldy old bathmat, a bowl made out of banana skins (something I think we would remember<\/em> seeing) and some missing coathangers. Because, in their minds, we moved in, used their stuff and put it back in all the wrong places. Cheeky, huh?<\/p>\n

WATER THE PLANTS!<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s not enough that Berlin is one of the greenest cities in Europe (with 2,500 public green spaces!); its residents are all about bringing the outside indoors. They all have plants, and they love <\/em>those plants \u2013 even more than we love our cats, which is worrying. So when we asked one tenant what we could do with plants that may have been poisonous to our kitties, we should have known that the response \u201cI don\u2019t care\u201d meant something like \u201cleave them with my neighbours\u201d not, say,\u201djust throw them in the trash\u201d. Oopsie!<\/p>\n

DON\u2019T LOSE THE KEYS!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Keys\"<\/a><\/p>\n

www.passiveaggressivenotes.com<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

So we\u2019re probably sounding like nightmare guests right about now. This one\u2019s my bad. Within our first month, I\u2019d managed to drop a set of keys down those grates that are conveniently located in front of every door in Berlin. The set with the keys to the post box attached \u2013 so we had to replace that<\/em> as well as trying to replace the keys. You should know: the chunky keys to the front door of your building, with the ID number on, are basically impossible <\/em>to replace (I think the tenant has to submit an application to the building manager). So, as we were helpfully told at the latest handover, \u201cif you\u2019re going to lose a key, don\u2019t lose this one\u201d \u2013 as he handed it to us, attached to the rest of our single set of keys.<\/p>\n

DON\u2019T EXPECT TO HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED!<\/strong><\/p>\n

All Berliners are, to some degree, hippies. That\u2019s why they live here and not, say, downtown Manhattan. That\u2019s why they all have plants, and that\u2019s why they need very little else. Pretty early on, we faced up to the fact that a dishwasher is a luxury, but here are just a few of the things we were amazed that people could live without: a kettle; a toaster; a can opener and, more importantly, a bottle opener; curtains; warm showers. We did, however, find plenty of dirty socks and underwear, and healthy chunks of hair clogging up the drain of that freezing cold shower. Nice.
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DON\u2019T GET COMFORTABLE! <\/strong><\/p>\n

The actual tenants of your sublet are going to be back before you know it. Even if it\u2019s not plain sailing, chances are you\u2019ll fall in love with your nice big (compared to London or New York) apartment, and your new life in it. Just bear in mind, you\u2019ll probably burn through another four of these before you finally settle down, so don\u2019t get attached!<\/p>\n

PS for major LOLS from the tenant\u2019s point of view, check out this great blog<\/a> on Vice from someone whose neighbour sublet his Berlin apartment while he was away.<\/em><\/p>\n

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