{"id":1574,"date":"2021-04-14T06:09:58","date_gmt":"2021-04-14T06:09:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/uberlin.co.uk\/february-2012-uberlin\/"},"modified":"2021-04-15T07:21:37","modified_gmt":"2021-04-15T07:21:37","slug":"february-2012-uberlin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/uberlin.co.uk\/february-2012-uberlin\/","title":{"rendered":"February 2012 – \u00fcberlin"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
February 28, 2012<\/abbr><\/h5>\n
\n

Sexpat and the City: And we frolicked about in our summer skin<\/a><\/h3>\n

by Mr. Sexpat<\/span><\/h4>\n
\n

\"\"Mr. Sexpat is a twentysomething English expat living, and occasionally loving, in Berlin. Join us as we follow him into the seamy underbelly of the city\u2019s single scene.
\n<\/strong>
\n\u201cDear Summer,<\/p>\n

How have you been? It\u2019s been many months since I last saw you and I find myself thinking of you often.<\/p>\n

I thought I saw you one afternoon last week in Prenzlauer Berg, but when I asked your cousin Winter if you were in back in Berlin she just shrugged. She said you that you guys hadn\u2019t spoken for years and how you\u2019re full of hot air or something\u2026<\/p>\n

I\u2019m okay. I\u2019ve been \u201cwriting\u201d for some crummy expat blog while trying to get laid \u2013 without much success. So pretty much the same as ever, I guess. But I still feel guilty about how we left things last year.<\/p>\n

Looking back I realise that I didn\u2019t appreciate you as much as I should have, in the short time that you were around. When you were last in Berlin I was either asleep all day or hungover or whatever\u2026 I completely forgot what a great wingman you can be! With your cousin around girls wear far too many layers so I can\u2019t really get a good idea of their physique \u2013 and by \u201cphysique\u201d, I of course mean tits. Then she\u2019ll say that I shouldn\u2019t be so sexist and objectify women like that.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s what\u2019s inside that counts,\u201d Winter tells me.<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d I reply. \u201cThat\u2019s why I\u2019m trying to get inside somebody!\u201d<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong, I do really like your cousin but you know she can be a total bummer sometimes. She\u2019s just so\u2026 cold.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve got to come back soon right? All my female friends think you\u2019re really hot; just the other day one of them asked when I thought you\u2019d be back. When you\u2019re around all the Gorgonites<\/a> go back to their caves and the hot dames return, gliding in from The Baltic Sea aboard gigantic, gleaming sea oysters pulled by three and a half thousand pygmy unicorns.<\/p>\n

If you do come back soon I promise to make more of an effort with you. There are a ton of festivals I want to attend, and we can go on that weekend mini-break to Hamburg we talked about. (I hear the talent there is exquisite\u2026 perhaps because it\u2019s that much closer to Scandinavia<\/a>?) We\u2019ll finally go to Wansee, walk around for hours and hours, and talk about any boring shit you like\u2026<\/p>\n

Like I said, it would be great to see you again so, if you\u2019re not still mad at me, give me a shout when you get back. I really miss you and Berlin just isn\u2019t the same without you.<\/p>\n

Lots of love,<\/p>\n

Mr. Sexpat<\/p>\n

PS Spring tells me you should call her asap, you still owe her 20\u20ac.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a><\/p>\n

cicciostoky, The sky over Berlin, via Flickr, Creative Commons Attribution<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n