by James Glazebrook
Paules Metal Eck
Krossener Straße 15, Berlin 10245 (map)
We started off by returning to the first Berlin metal bar I ever dragged Zöe – and my poor sister and brother-in-law – to. And sure enough, three years later and Paules Metal Eck hasn’t changed a bit. The doomy interior is still charmingly decorated with dragon heads, carbonised figures writhing in agony and a mummified corpse suspended over the pool table. And there’s still Newky Broon on tap! We gathered outside to drink beers in the dying light of the day, and steel our resolve for an evening of down-tuned guitars and questionable drink choices.
Mainzer Straße 15, Berlin 10247 (map)
When our friend Heather first complained to us about the bar she lives above – the one with the statue of Rob Halford on a motorbike outside, that plays dodgy thrash all night (turned up to 11) – we just had to add it to our bar crawl. The Metal God has now had his legs lopped off and been dragged inside, where he stands opposite the stud-lined bar, behind which another Halford doppelgänger mixes up wildly-experimental cocktails loosely fashioned after some of the heaviest bands of all time. Two of us struggled to keep down a Slayer – a heady blend of Baileys, blue Curaçao, banana nectar and sambuca – while Zoë wisely opted for the relatively light Sepultura – imagine a mojito with tequila and strawberry juice (and try not to gag). Mexikaners sunk, palates cleansed (ish), and we were off to the next bar!
Brutz & Brakel
Proskauer Straße 13, Berlin 10247 (map)
Did you ever have a cool uncle who spent all his wages decking out his bachelor pad with massive TVs, dart boards, and shelves full of all the weird music he introduced you to? Well, Brutz & Brakel is like his living room, if he’d had the space and money to install a full bar. It’s also the de facto fan base HQ of local death metal band Postmortem and the basecamp for Stromgitarrenfest, Berlin’s most brutal music festival. Needless to say, they aren’t used to gangs of expat hipsters rolling in and ordering shots that basically consist of liquified, alcoholic cheesecake. Not for the faint of heart. m/
Danziger Straße 61, Berlin 10435 (map)
A short tram ride and we find ourselves in the heart of craft beer and stoner/doom/all-kinds-of-awesome metal, Monterey. After more Mexikaners (the best we’ve ever had), a few bottles of Mikkeller, and a failed attempt to focus on the free play arcade game, we settled in for some end-of-the-night shit talking. A big shout out to the ever hospitable Adie who kept us lubricated with his finest ales and let us bother the clientele with hours of Tool and the Deftones. Oh, and our mate Lozzy, who’s going to live painting a mural on the walls later this month. There will be skulls!
Thanks to everyone who came along on the crawl, especially our Gruppenleiter, Mike from Demons Galore, who organised the whole thing. Truly a master of muppets!